Hey Where’d this Black Kid Come From?

Hey kid! What'd ya never see a black kid before?

There is this thing I have been noticing. I cannot help but observe behaviors, it’s what I do. Usually it is in dogs but I have found this weird parallel between dogs and kids…anyway…so far this is not one of those times…

Where we live it is a pretty mixed neighborhood. Our block has many children, all white but the block to the south of is has many black children. And my children go to a day care at a very mixed race college so 50% of their friends at school are black. But I notice that many of the places we frequent do not have many black kids. And I notice this thing go on and can’t tell if it is a black thing or not.

Let me describe:

There is an indoor kids playground we go to that we call the BBY. It is in the burbs and usually we have the only two black kids, sometimes there is one other black kid. But there were some kids playing in a playhouse, about 3 of them, Carter walked in and they stopped and just stared at him. Now, I don’t know if they all knew each other and they were looking at him, like “Hey, who is this kid? We don’t know him.” or if they were stopped dead in their tracks because he is black.

I have noticed it many times, just cannot recall them all right now.

Then there was our Day out With Thomas up in Green Bay, WI. Hardly any other black children were there and when I got to my computer to look at the pictures from the day I spotted the “look” I am talking about.

What do you think? Is that just a look kids give each other or is that a, “Hey, where’d this black kid come from? look?

And the reviews are in…the Real L Word, is a lie!

Just when I thought I was over the heartbreak of losing my friends from Showtimes The L Word, I caught wind of The Real L Word. I watched in anticipation last night only to be let down. As a lesbian, let me set this all straight for you. Real Lesbians do not look, act or talk like that which you may see on The Real L Word…

Straight men, I hate to disappoint you.

I’ve been to LA. Hell, my partner is a true blue LA bred lesbian. She is not depicted in The Real L Word. Granted, some LA lesbians do look like the lesbians on Showtime. Some LA lesbians have super glamorous lives. I happen to know one of the top 10 lesbians in the United States (yes, there really is such a list) and trust me, I LOVE the fact that I know one. She leads a high-profile life, red carpet, A list, I’d kill to look at her cell phone directory, life. But for fun she takes her closeted lesbian lover to B&B’s and plays board games all weekend. Or invites us all over to play Wii.

I imagine the casting call for The Real L Word looked something like this:

“Wanted. Beautiful, well dressed, glamorous, sex crazed lesbians or women willing to portray a lesbian.”

To the shows credit, I am sure that the editing room has had its way with the show. I am sure that the first two hours of conversation at the backyard BBQ at Whitney’s house went more like this:

Fat ex girlfriend: “So, did you watch Oprah last week? She had hoarders on….creapy!”

Whitney: “Yeah, I caught the last half of it.”

Etc. etc…

and then after the alcohol started flowing they talk about sex. Because I have never been to a lesbian function where people immediately talk about sex. Oh, and the opening of the show where they interview each cast member and they “candidly” talk about their first experience with a woman…NEVER does it go down like that. I have never heard a group of women use the F word so much in my life. In fact, the show should be renamed to “The Real F Word”.

What upsets me the most is that producers clearly do not think the general public wants to see “Real Lesbians”. Because if they did they would show women doing more of these things:

Young Lesbians: Meeting at a bar. Awkwardly talking to and hitting on each other. Maybe having some bathroom sex, but more likely having awkward but hot futon sex. Waking up, and moving in with the girl two days later.

30 Something Lesbians: Meeting through friends or work. Having dinner, hooking up…and two weeks later moving in together. Buying a house, having kids.

40 something Lesbians: Already partnered for years…some living together as “roommates”

Again, to recap….

Showtimes “The Real L Word” = Real fake

I have a real LA Lesbian and it’s nothing like the show.

I know an A list LA Lesbian and she’s not like the show.

BUT

As a lesbian, I kinda feel like I have to watch…

but, I’m really disappointed.

“We Should Tape This”

So the other night we were goofing around with the kids, mainly Carter and I was yelling out dog training commands, which are very similar to the way you would instruct children. I said, “Carter, Come” and he did. Then I jokingly got a little bowl of mini M&M’s and said “We should tape this” to which Carter ran out of the room and came back with this…

Seriously, he did. Now that is funny!

I meant with the flip camera because what was about to happen next was pretty funny too.

I said, “Carter sit” and he sat and I gave him an M&M. I said, “Carter lay down” he did…bam M&M

Roll over was filled with giggles and we are still working on it.

He Cracks Me Up, Usually at the most inappropriate times…

My son is 2 1/2 years old. I think he is one of the funniest people I know…he had to have developed it from us right?

Examples:

Driving in car:

Mama: Carter, what do you want for dinner?

Carter: Mmmmm

Mama: What do you want for dinner? Are you thinking?

Carter: Carter want peana butta cooooo kies

Mama: I should’ve known better than to ask a 2 year old what he wants for dinner

Carter in backseat of car, teasing his sister, making motions like he is going to let her have his Thomas the Train sunglasses, but when she reaches for them he snatches them back and makes an “ahhhh” noise which then cracks both of their asses up.

Carter: Carter funny!

Mama: You are funny alright

I love that he refers to himself in the third person. There is something so satirical about it to me, even though I know he just does it because he doesn’t know any better. He also get tense wrong which is funny…if you ask, “Who wants ice cream?” He will yell, “I did, I did!”

There is more, I just can’t think of the funniness off the tip of my head right now, I will have to start writing this down. He is a hoot!

It’s a first for him

I came across a pair of Lightning McQueen pajamas the other week and hesitated…Carter loves the movie Cars and we scour the universe looking for the diecast characters he doesn’t have yet. AND you have no idea how many there are, or how hard they can be to find! Anyway, I usually do not buy character pajamas because they are usually a polyester blend. Well, this pair happened to be 100% cotton and have two short sleeved shirts and one pair of shorts. AND they happened to have McQueen and Wingo (which is one of the cars we call “Naughty” because he helps run Mac off the road) who are two of Carters all time favorite characters. I caved, I bought them.

Just the other night was the first night it was warm enough for him to wear them to bed and when we went to change him in the morning, he flipped out! He held his arms down so we could not pull the shirt over his head. He said, “Noooooooooo” I had to bribe him by offering to let him wear the other top that came with the set (also loaded with McQueen & Wingo pics), he had to be changed because he soaked through his diaper in the night.

So, yes….my son had a wardrobe preference for the first time ever…and it resulted in him wearing a pajama shirt all day.

Organized Sports at 2 years old…

Well, organized might be a stretch…

Carter started Mikro soccer today. He is supposed to be 3 years old but he is 2.5 and when I called to ask if he could play they said he just needed to be able to follow directions. I figured, on a good day that is possible so let’s give it a shot.

Size 3 ball in hand we showed up. I had dinners packed to keep his sister at bay.

It was chaos! Right from the get go there were kids falling apart, crying everywhere! I prayed he was not one of them…and he was not. My little 2.5 year old was a champ. Then two kids fell while dribbling the ball, and they cried. Then you see a parent scoop up his kid…another kid won’t get out of the net the whole time…he’s like a dolphin caught in a tuna net.

Then the parents…oh where do I start with them. HELICOPTER!!!! And the complete opposite, talking on the phone, blah blah blah…soccer dad muttering beneath his breath…”They KNOW how to RUN! Why is she making them run? This is soccer, teach them SOCCER!”

Then there is the kid who just took off and played in the stream the whole time.

My boy had a few moments of distraction…like when the landscaping tractor for the city drove by THREE times…come on, that is like crack for my boy…any type of heavy machinery transportation. We diverted him pretty well, but I did get it on tape.

All in all, I was really PROUD!

This is my sons favorite “ride”

He’s funny. No, I mean, he’s really funny…he may be two and a half, but I swear this kid has a sense of humor.

But in all seriousness, he calls this a “ride” and if you put a quarter in…he will smile and laugh for a full minute!