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Really? Really? Do we need this warning?

Hi, this is me…up on my soapbox…

Thank you for looking out for the kids, but THIS is really sad. We have warnings for everything…and yet bad judgement, and absent parenting causes accidents.

But now we need warnings on our food that *gasp* a child may choke on said food? This is Darwin award material.

It’s bad enough society thinks we need labels like this:

Plastic Bags: “Warning: To avoid danger of suffocation, keep this plastic bag away from babies and children. Do not use this bag in cribs, beds, carriages or playpens. The plastic bag could block nose and mouth and prevent breathing. This bag is not a toy.”

Really? I thought it was a toy because this plastic bag looks so much like a “toy” and was prepackaged in a box that said, “new and improved, long-lasting, extra hours of fun, no batteries required, fun for the whole family, PLASTIC BAG TOY.” You mean to tell me that, I don’t know, if a plastic bag ended up over my child’s head or covering their face…they could….die? Shocking, really shocking. Good thing there is a label on said non toy bag that warns me.

Sleepwear: “For child’s safety, garment should fit snugly. This garment is not flame resistant.”

Really? You mean to tell me that my child’s Pajamas that are made out of…fabric…are flammable? This is also shocking! You mean that if my child were to come into contact with an open flame, the pajamas would….ignite? Does this apply to JUST pajamas? Or to all fabric? What if my child is naked? Will they still burn? Maybe we should have a warning tattooed on their skin that reads, “Warning keep child’s skin away from open flame.”

Now we need warnings on food? You mean to tell me that if you are  not watching your child and they are eating something too big it could block their airway and they could choke and not get oxygen and die? This is startling NEW information. Is this just with the newer model children or does this apply to older models too? Are the babies we are making stupider? Or is it a parent issue? I’m confused.

Do we also need labels for:

Knives: on the blade, “Caution if you stab a baby or a baby stabs himself with this sharp object they could bleed and die.”

Vacuum cleaners: “Caution, you can suck your body parts up in here and get a hickie.”

Banana Peels: “If thrown on floor you could slip and fall, at least if you are a cartoon character anyway.”

Scissors: “Caution, may result in self-inflicted bad haircut or death if falls into the hands of a toddler.”

Cell Phones: “Caution, may clog toilet if toddler throws in toilet and flushes.”

Ok, I know the last one was not a safety issue but I think you see where I am coming from here. Have we resigned ourselves to lowering our expectations so far that common sense no longer applies?

Well, I gotta go…my kid is drinking wine, eating hotdogs and grapes with a plastic bag on his head, scissors in one hand, sitting too close to the tv, and playing with matches while wearing his loose-fitting pajamas and jumping on the bed…

WHAT? No one warned me!

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