The gritty truth about becoming a mom…

Unadulterated, stuff you won’t find in books..in no particular order:

  • Goodbye Pottery Barn, Hello Play-Doh
  • You will count Ramen noodles and catsup as a meal
  • You will try to make your own baby food and fail miserably (I could never get it smooth enough and they always gagged on it)
  • You will let them watch more tv than you originally said you would
  • Everything you thought it was going to be turns out to be wrong…and that goes both ways (it can be better and worse than you thought it was going to be, depending on the day)
  • You have no idea how much you can possibly love a child
  • You will probably become more obsessed with things they like than they are (ie…if they like Thomas the Train, you will scour the earth looking for them…for us right now it’s Disney’s Cars)
  • On a similar note, you will watch a movie countless times…for us right now it’s Disney’s Cars
  • You will curse the inventors of ADA doorknobs…they are like magnets for children, they unlock when you pull the handle and they do it inevitably as soon as you sit down on the toilet…a parents nightmare
  • You will hear yourself say insane things, but you will not be able to help yourself…
  • You will find that it is far harder to stay consistent than you thought it would be
  • You will imagine yourself in really weird situations and how you would react…for me, it is someone hurting my child and I imagine going completely psycho on them…mama bear style
  • You will realize just how powerless you are, especially when it comes to trying to make a child a) take medicine b) be quiet c) eat d) take a nap…basically you will find, you cannot make a child do something they do not want to do
  • You will find yourself singing everything, just basically losing you mind and making up a song for everything (in the past 20 minutes I have made up 3 songs, all of which I won’t even remember)
  • You will slowly stop coveting the things you, well, coveted…for us, candles are gone, cleanliness…gone, free time…gone
  • Your kid will eat Ramen noodles off the floor and you really won’t care
  • Little things like, showering and brushing your teeth, once necessity become a luxury

(to be continued)

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