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My Kids Melt Me…

Zoe's 1st cake! & Our First Glimpse of Zoe

Our first glimpse at Zoe

Zoe's 1st cake!

Yesterday my little girl turned 1! I now have two 1 year olds (that is until Carter turns 2 in two weeks). It’s weird when you look at it that way. I also realized the other day that I keep thinking of Zoe as much younger and smaller than she is…all of the sudden she is 1! I have not been doing things with her that I did when her brother was her age, and I think I figured out why. She was such a difficult baby, that until she was about 8 months old we never really knew who she was. Literally, nothing made her happy until we finally did a major diet switch with her GFSFCF (Gluten Free, Soy Free, Casein Free) that changed her over to a happy child within 24 hours. If you would have asked me what she liked, I could not have answered the question…asking me her strengths or positive attributes, I could have listed none, other than tenacity. So for me, Zoe kind of got stuck in infancy, because I really feel like I am now finally getting to know her.

She is beautiful. I know all mothers are biased, but this kid is stunning! She is strong willed, and will make a mean business woman someday. She loves to dance and sing (or more like scream). She loves her big brother and tries to emulate him. She is trying to walk and says “Mama” and “Dada” and when I say…”No no, we don’t have a dada” I swear she thinks its funny to mess with me and she then shakes her head and says “dada” and laughs!

Today one year ago we got the call that our little girl we were waiting for was born. Tomorrow marks one year ago that we drove to the hospital and plucked her from the nursery. She was so tiny and really looks nothing like she did then, now. Parts of me miss the baby days, especially with Carter who is becoming so independent (he now puts his own nebulizer mask on and turns on the machine, and sits and watches Caillou while he gets his treatment…when he feels no more is coming out he turns it off.).

I think I will feel even more nostalgic in a few weeks when it is Carters birthday. A friend asked me if the excitement feels the same with the second child and for me honestly, it didn’t feel the same…it felt different…I have to admit, Carter will always hold the key to my heart…not that I love Zoe less, just differently. I know my mom feels the same way about me:)

Last night we sang happy birthday and had cake with Carter and Zoe, just the four of us…it was small and sweet and for a moment it was just us in our own little world…they held hands, Carter sang sweetly…and they picked frosting off the cake. Hands stained blue from frosting, life couldn’t be better…

and I wish the conservatives had a peek into my window last night to see the sweetness, the normality…the completeness…

2 Responses

  1. What a great post!

    beth mentioned that when she babysat- she noticed that carter was the center – and she also noted that is very normal- and knows what it feels like. That when children are very very difficult when they are infants, it is harder to bond with them- and the bonding comes later. That as a parent you don’t want to hold anything against a child- especially something that isn’t in their control– but subconsiously, it happens.

    It sounds like exactly what you said..

    Zoe is a beautiful, fun little girl… she is blossoming! Be proud mom! It is because of you gals that she is becoming the little girl she is!

  2. HAPPY BIRTHDAY, ZOE!!!!!!!!!!

    uh, and you know i know that whole deal. i have two months of the year where i have 2 kids that are the same age 🙂

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